Angela on her experience as a carer

I’ve been a carer for 16 years now, since I was 17 years old. For the first few years, all I knew was that something was wrong, but didn’t know where to get help. I was at university when my mother was first sectioned and got the official diagnosis.

It’s always been difficult to navigate the mental health system but for carers my age we’re going through big life transitions and working full time but still caring and managing crises. For the last two years the point of entry has been the Accident and Emergency department. There’s a lot of waiting around with other unwell people. It’s just not an inviting place. If I need to leave I have to keep calling for updates. When she’s finally been given a bed, they let me know and I have to drop whatever I’m doing to take her toiletries and clothing.

In the Ghanaian and wider Black community, we mostly deal with it in secret. There’s a lot of stigmatising or alienating the individual that is ill. Religion plays a huge part in whether they see the person as possessed and wicked. That was some of the language family members used. But I’m lucky. My church family is my extended family and one of my pastors is a mental health nurse who helps me ask specific questions to get the right answers.

I’ve learned to open up slowly. I’ve started a group for female carers. We meet every six weeks to talk, get advice and make the load much easier.

What would help carers would be to have an understanding of the diagnosis from the beginning, sitting with a doctor or nurse to talk about symptoms, medication, care plans. That’s literally the most basic thing that can happen. And communication – don’t leave messages about incidents and induce fear. It would also be great to have family therapy and a family liaison to help us navigate the system.